NOURISHING AND TOXIC LIVING: "N" PEOPLE AND "T" PEOPLE - PERSONAL SURVIVAL, GROWTH, AND THE SATISFACTION OF THE BASIC NEEDS

Feelings of distrust and suspicion toward another are not necessarily "wrong," "bad," or otherwise unwarranted.

For N people, personal survival, growth, and the satisfaction of their basic needs are healthy manifestations. For them, selfishness (selfness) is simply the recognition and acceptance of the reality that each person is the most important person in the world to himself. The N person is aware that he will be unable to give nourishment to others unless he sustains his own health. It is not surprising, then, that N people are more authentic and aware and have fulfilled more of their potentials. They value their integrity more and are better able to stand on their own two feet. Rather than lean on others, they assume responsibility for their own needs. They have greater willingness to state openly and directly what they want. In relationships, they are attracted to those who give freely. They obtain nourishment from others and give nourishment in the same process, much like a man who cares for a fruit tree: he enjoys its fruits and in turn prunes and fertilizes it, thereby enhancing its health and growth.

Toxic people manifest the opposite qualities. Typically, anyone the T person encounters is in some way left depleted by the encounter. Toxic people manifest excessive phoniness, manipulation, and deception. A T person's life pattern is one in which nourishment of his needs is detrimental to others, whom he uses for his own ends. In contrast to the self-reliant N person, the T person needs a continuous supply of people, since either he uses them up (i.e., they get tired of being drained) or he gets restless and wants something more. His relationships in general tend to be unstable and superficial; the T person is therefore chronically dissatisfied.

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